Yep.. One of those days

Anyone remember that song by Brandi?? or someone right after Brandi who sounded just like Brandi ... it went like "Just one of them days.. that a girl goes through.. " etc etc.

I had one of those days yesterday. I woke up thinking it was going to be a great day. I had slept a whole 10 hours, I felt refreshed, awake, energized... and than I got into the grind of the work day and wanted to give up! Calling people and telling them that the owe that large insurance bill isn't always the best .... and yesterday was just one of those days that I couldn't please anyone.. not my company.. not my customers... not my family .. not my children.. NO ONE.

As I started to look over who I was worrying about pleasing.. I saw that God wasn't in there at all. The most important question I wasn't asking was .. "Did my day please God?" ... I think given the above information the answer would most likely be no... but why?

I think mostly b/c of my attitude. I didn't have a positive attitude at all. Instead of just drumming through life like I have been, I need to be looking.. seeking.. learning about my God, my family, my children, my fellow lovers of Christ.. I really need to stop being so lazy and thinking about all the things I don't like about my life and focus more on the things I love about my life.

I love my husband. YES he drives me insane. And I mean INSANE! But he accepts me no matter WHAT I DO.. he shows me Christ by loving me .. something that I've often struggled to accept... but still something I strive for more than breathe itself.

I love my children. Again.. they drive me UP A WALL. Clayton screams... Lori Ann argues... Meghan stomps her feet.. and Katie Lynn.. well Katie Lynn is adorable.. but mix them together and you have a huge mess... but that is my mess. Those are the creations that Richard and I are a part of. NO ONE or anything can take that away from me.. I will always cherish the memories of Clay and Lori Ann trying to dance with each other like the Dancing w/ the Stars performers.. or Meghan getting mad b/c Lori Ann was singing God's army too loud that she couldn't hear herself sing. I cherish the smile Katie Lynn gives me when I want to throw up my hands and run screaming for the hills.

I love my church! Sure I feel like I am SO under understood... but people there don't judge. They love. I got an email from my deaconess today and she reminded me.. "You are loved!" What a blessing to hear that from someone who doesn't have to love you at all. I could just be another face for her.. but nope.. she has chosen to love me. That's so cool.. and if you read this blog .. you see how I feel about the Bumpers... and if I haven't said it yet.. the Mathes ... he's someone one day I'd love to imitate... he is patient and kind.. sincere.. just an amazing man!

Sure I'm not ecstatic about my job.. but I do have one. That can't be said by everyone. So praise God I can support my family. Praise God Richard isn't the only one trying to provide for our family. What a stress that must be for some... and I would never want Richard to feel as if he was in that by himself. God has me where I need to be... and has me focused on where I need to be in the future.. He is helping me get there.. and that's a blessing too!

So here's the biggest blessing in my life thus far. God is defeating the power of worrying in my life.

I worry about EVERYTHING! And I mean EVERYTHING. But these last two weeks I've been placing that worry on the strong shoulders of God. And God has delivered. Why I doubted I do not know! Placing your faith in Him is an amazing feat ... but so worth it (at least it was an amazing feat for me..)

So here's the ending for tonight.. I'm thankful for my life. Sure it's not exactly where I thought it would be.. but what ever is?

Here .. enjoy some good ole' Caedmon's... all the cool people are :)

This is the valley that I'm walking through
And if fells like forever since
I've been close to you
My friends up above me don't
understand why i struggle like i do
My shadow's my only,only companion
and at night he leaves too
Down in the valley, dying of thirst
Down in the valley, it seems that I'm at my worst
My consolation is that you baptize this earth
When I'm down in the valley, valleys fill first
Down in this wasteland I miss the
mountaintop view
But it's here in this valley that
I'm surrounded by you
Though I'm not here by my will
it's where your view is the most clear
So I'll stay in this valley it takes 40 years
And it's like that long Saturday
your death and the rising day
When no one wrote a word,wondered is this the end
But you were down there in thew ell, saving those that fell
Bringing them to the mountain again