In my mind....

Recently, we had an un-expected bill come up, and I had to spend my grocery money on the unexpected bill.

The next day, praise God I was able to get my WIC stuff.... but I'm not sure if I've ever felt so upset/lonely/frustrated/annoyed/and down right angry as I walked through the aisles of Walmart. You see...

Our pantry was literally empty. We had no food that I could even throw together to make into a semi-nutritious meal for the kids. I was so frustrated at myself, at the choices I had made, even at Walmart for having so much food... etc.

Thankfully I have family who was willing to help me out until I was able to pay them back.

It was humbling as I reflected on those feelings. I had went out to my car and cried my eyes out after walking through those aisles. I felt as if my world was crashing in on me. I can't imagine feeling that everyday, or every week.

We as a country have amazing programs that help people, and I'm thankful for that. But I still can't imagine the scars left on a mother's heart and I can't imagine feeling that alone. I was thankful that as I cried I had my Jesus to listen and care about me. I was thankful that as I pondered what I could sell or trade etc to get grocery's that my Jesus was listening to me in my irrational state.

See Jesus knows Richard and I spent money where we shouldn't. Jesus knows that we have made stupid mistakes. But in my hour of need, Jesus didn't condemn, like this world so often does, He instead comforted.... and provided a way out of the crazy situation.

But honestly His comfort was what I needed, more than anything I needed to hear that His love was still there, that His comfort was going to carry me through. That He was leading me, and that He would carry me though .... trying to understand how I would make it through the week on milk and eggs was beyond my understanding. (I know I'm spoiled!) Jesus provided by allowing us to get the WIC in the first place.

I'm not saying that Jesus fixes all of our mistakes, but Jesus did provide... this time He provided through my sister, but Jesus can provide through many venues. Like I said, I was thankful for getting my WIC, and knew if anything the kids would have milk and eggs. The Lord had provided a good friend to help me see that I wasn't alone and milk and eggs are as good as any other thing to a five, three, and two year old.

Now as I look through the aisles of Walmart, I am truly humbled by the money I have to shop and buy food.