Depression Sucks!

Isn't it funny that we think depression is a 'mental' illness and some how it's not health related. I love those people who say things like.. she's crazy .. she's bi-polar. As if it's not the same as he's diabetic, she's obese. Mental illness is just as frustrating and life changing as diabetes, cancer, etc. But the even more debilitating is the reaction people have to it. When I hear a person has cancer, I pray for them... but even having dealt with depression, when I hear someone is depressed I don't think of it prayer needing.. but this week I have realized it is. But how exactly do you reach out for that help?

I've been battling my depression all my adult life.. and somehow I know it has affected EVERYTHING from my home to my church to my work... to even my knowledge of who I am. This week it just seems at its worst.

Today I'm just blah... cranky.. irritable... exhausted. Most of the day I've just wanted to sleep...

Richard and I have been waiting on something all week, and it's something pretty big. We found out today that the something came through, and on Friday we'll see it through. This news should have made me running through the streets praising God.. yet I'm still just so overwhelmed and uninterested I can't seem to motivate myself to even fake it. Of course I have prayed and said thank you to God, but it's all I can do to show it to anyone else.

I'm exhausted tonight... I feel as if I want to cry. And the worst part is.. how is my action at all showing the joy and peace of Christ? I just went and attended an amazing church service... yet I was so distracted, I could barely focus on what the preacher was saying. Ugh.. overall depression sucks!

I'm praying a visit to our doctor will help somehow, but I think controlling what I can will too. I can control myself... even if that's all I can control, I can control me. So here's to trying to have a good day tomorrow, trying to work to the best of my abilities, trying to keep my calm and my peace with my children, and trying to just enjoy tomorrow!